“Dude, Where’s My Ladder” Salad

In the spirit of continuing a bit of cooking, and moving towards the hilarious idea of a politically motivated cookery book, here’s last night’s dinner.

Inspired by the proposed construction of a wall on the American/Mexican border, I give you the “Dude, Where’s My Ladder” Salad. A Mexican inspired salad, with enough Californian influences that America can claim it as their own, then promptly deny that there was ever any involvement from their southern neighbours.

The “Dude, Where’s My Ladder?” Salad

(Mexican Chicken Salad)

Ingredients: 

Chicken and Marinade:

2 x Chicken fillets (sliced into thick strips)

1tsp Garlic powder

1tsp Smoked paprika

1.5tsp Coriander seeds

1tsp Ground cumin

1tsp Black peppercorns

1tsp Salt

2tbsp Olive oil

 

Dressing and Fajita Vegetable Fry:

1tsp Garlic powder

1tsp Smoked paprika

1.5tsp Coriander seeds

1tsp Ground cumin

1tsp Black peppercorns

1tsp Salt

3 x Garlic cloves (finely diced)

1 x Red chili (sliced)

1 x Bell Pepper (Yellow preferred. Sliced into strips)

1 x Red Sweet Pepper (Sliced into strips).

1 x Large Onion (Sliced thick)

3 – 4 tbsp Olive oil

Juice of one Lime

1tbsp Tomato Puree

Bunch Coriander (roughly chopped)

 

Salad:

2 x Baby Gem lettuce (roughly chopped)

2 x Handfuls Rocket Leaves

Handful of Cherry Tomatoes

Bunch Coriander (roughly chopped)

1 x Ripe Avocado (cubed)

 

Tortilla Chips:

4 x Large tortilla wraps (cut into 8 pizza slices each)

2 tbsp Olive oil

Salt & pepper

 

Garnish (optional):

Sliced Applewood smoked cheddar

Coriander

Toasted sesame seeds.

 

 

Method:

 

For the Chicken and Marinade:

 

1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees C (390 F) (Gas Mark 6).
2. Wash and pat dry the chicken fillets.
3. Add ALL of the spices for the marinade, dressing and vegetable fry into a pestle and mortar. Crush roughly into a fine powder.
4. NOTE: blending all of the spices for 3 steps of the recipe together allows you to add as much or as little to each stage as you like. This also allows you to control the heat.
5. Place the chicken fillets in a bowl and cover in 2tbsp olive oil and roughly one third of the spice mix.
6. Mix the chicken and spices together thoroughly.
7. NOTE: for more flavour in the cooked chicken, cut the fillets into 3 or 4 pieces each and then marinade.
8. Place the chicken fillets on an oven tray and cook for 25 – 30 minutes, turning halfway through.
9. When the chicken is cooked, place in a bowl with a handful of chopped coriander and shred with two forks.

 

 

 

 

 

For the Dressing:

1. Use a jar to mix the dressing in.
2. NOTE: make sure the jar is deep as the dressing will have to mixed well.
3. Of the spice mix that is left in the pestle and mortar, take one third and place in the jar with 4 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil, sliced garlic, chopped coriander stalks and the juice of one lime.
4. Mix thoroughly and set aside.

 

Preparing the Tortilla Chips:

1. On a bread board, stack 4 wraps and cut them as if you were segmenting them into 8 even pizza slices.
2. Take a large bowl, intended for the finished salad and combine the tortilla slices with some salt and pepper and 2 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
3. NOTE: The seasoning and oil from this mix will mix well when you toss the finished salad.
4. On an oven tray, place the tortilla chips in a pattern that does not have them overlap.
5. Cook them in the oven for 5mins a side, or until toasted.

 

For the Fajita Vegetables:

1. Slice the onion, chili, peppers and garlic.
2. Roughly chop a handful of coriander.
3. Add 2 tbsp olive oil to a pan over a medium/high heat.
4. Add the garlic. When it begins to sizzle, add the onion, peppers and chili.
5. After about 5 mins, the veg will have softened. Add the tomato puree and spice mix. Stir this through until everything is coated.
6. When done, set aside.

 

For the Salad:

1. Roughly chop the baby gem lettuce and add it to the bowl that the tortilla chips were coated in. Add the handfuls of rocket leaves.
2. Quarter you cherry tomatoes and add them to the salad bowl.
3. Cube one ripe avocado and add it to the salad bowl.
4. Add any leftover coriander or garlic.
5. Add the fajita vegetables.
6. Add the shredded chicken.
7. Squeeze the juice of one life over the whole salad.
8. Mix thoroughly.

 

To Serve:

1. Garnish the salad with some toasted sesame seeds and/or thin slices of applewood smoked cheddar.
2. Serve salad in the middle of table and let people take what they want.
3. Serve oven baked tortilla chips on the side.

 

-J. O’Brien

21/03/2017

 

Shredded Crispy Chicken and Spicy Roasted Sesame and Honey Sauce

“Finished Dish”

To my great and ever-swelling ego’s surprise, several people have asked my for the recipe to this thing I made last night. Therefore, with great smugness and no charm whatsoever, I’ve decided to throw it up as a blog post and let everyone have at it.

DISCLAIMER: This did come mainly from my head and was made up over the course of yesterday evening, so there may be bits missing or left out or done wrong etc. etc.

 

Ingredients:

For the Sauce:

4 x garlic cloves (finely sliced)

Small thumb of ginger (finely grated)

1 x red chili (sliced)

1 x stalk lemongrass (peeled and finely diced)

4 tbsp blended sesame oil

60 ml Kikkoman soy sauce

2 tbsp Teriyaki sauce

1 tbsp rice wine vinegar

150gr honey

500ml good quality chicken stock (Knorr Stock Pots work best)

Pan roasted sesame seeds

Salt & Pepper

 

For the Chicken:

3 x large chicken fillets (better quality meat = less excess water)

Kitchen towel paper

400g cornflour

1 tbsp chili powder

1tbsp Chinese 5 spice

1/2 tbsp ground cumin

Salt & pepper

750ml vegetable or sunflower or peanut oil (peanut oil is very expensive though!)

 

For the Stir Fry:

2 x garlic cloves (finely sliced)

2 x bell peppers (red and green preferred, roughly cut into triangular shapes, to hold sauce)

1 x lrg white onion (cut into long segments)

1 x red chili (sliced)

3 tbsp blended sesame oil

Small bunch coriander (roughly cut)

Salt & pepper

For the Rice:

2 x boil in the bad rice (for ease)

4 x medium eggs (prepped for egg fried rice)

2 tbsp blended sesame oil

1 x garlic clove (grated)

 

Equipment:

Frying pan

Saucepan (for rice)

Saucepan (for deep frying)

Large, flat bottomed wok

Stock/Measuring jug

Thermometer (optional)

Very sharp santoku blade

Straining implement.

Paring knife

Wooden spoon

Misc. cutlery

 

 

 Method:

 

Early Preparation:

1. In a dry frying pan, toast 1/3 cup sesame seeds until golden brown. Set aside for later.
2. In same pan, add 1tbsp sesame oil. Beat 4 egg together in jug and add to pan over a low/medium heat.
3. Leave egg to curl yellow around the edges. As the mix solidifies towards the centre of the pan, use a wooden spoon to break it up into pieces for the egg fried rice later.
4. Once egg is browned slightly, set aside for later.

 

 

Preparing Chicken:

1. Use the santoku (or similarly sharp blade) to slice chicken fillets into fine width slices.
2. NOTE: Blades should be sharpened immediately before use.
3. Lay a paper towel on a plate and place the sliced chicken in portions onto the paper. Pat dry with a top sheet of paper towel. Set aside.
4. NOTE: The drier the chicken is patted, the crispier the chicken will be.
5. In a large mixing bowl, mix cornflour, Chinese 5 spice, cumin, chili powder and salt and pepper.
6. Add dried, sliced chicken to mixing bowl and thoroughly coat in mix.
7. Dust off excess flour mix as you move the coated chicken to a plate. Set aside.

 

Spicy Roasted Sesame and Honey Sauce:

1. Prepare 500ml chicken stock in stock jug.
2. Finely slice the garlic and lemongrass, grate the ginger and slice chili.
3. In a large, flat bottomed wok, add sesame oil and heat on medium/high.
4. Add half the garlic and half the ginger and the lemongrass. Move continuously with wooden spoon until fragrant.
5. Add soy sauce, teriyaki, and vinegar. Stir vigorously until mixed and simmering.
6. Add generous sprinkling of roasted sesame seeds.
7. Add half of the honey and stir until mixed.
8. Add 1/3 stock and stir in.
9. NOTE: From here, the honey and stock are to be added intermittently to allow the stock to simmer down gradually.
10. When stock simmers down slightly, add honey, then stock, then mix. Reduce again.
11. Continue until all of the stock and honey are in the sauce.
12. Reduce sauce.
13. NOTE: Once the sauce is finished it should be reduced enough to be able to fit into the 500ml jug used for the stock.
14. Pour sauce into stock/measuring jug and set aside.
15. NOTE: Set wok aside but do NOT wipe clean – greased flavour of sauce will be used for stir fry to give “take-away” effect.

“Once the sauce is finished it should be reduced enough to fit into the 500ml just used for the stock.”

 

Frying the Chicken:

1. NOTE: Set everything else aside for this step. The oil is to be heated to 375 degrees and on a gas cooker this is incredibly dangerous. Have a helping hand and nothing else going on in the kitchen. If a fire catches – remember, it is an oil fire. DO NOT try to put it out with water. Use a large damp towel or cloth.
2. Pour 750ml vegetable/sunflower/peanut oil into heavy bottomed sauce pan and put on high heat. Bring to roughly 375 degrees using a thermometer. If you do not have a thermometer, heat oil for 10mins on high.
3. NOTE: Test oil heat by taking a dry wooden spoon or chopstick and dipping it carefully in the oil. If a steady sizzling or simmer of oil surrounds the implement, the oil is ready to go. Please be careful though.
4. Set up a conveyor belt system with the floured chicken on one side of the cooker, the oil on the cooker, and a large bowl lined with kitchen towel on the other side.
5. Place the chicken carefully and slowly into the oil in small batches of 6 – 8 pieces at a time.
6. Fry the chicken for 2 – 3 mins per portion.
7. NOTE: You will know the chicken is cooked because the sizzling oil will greatly calm down. Leave it calmly simmering for 30 seconds to 1 minute.
8. Carefully strain the now crispy chicken out of the pot and place in lined bowl to dry.
9. Repeat the above until all of the chicken in cooked.
10. NOTE: Allow oil to cool down slowly somewhere, possibly outside, away from the rest of cooking. Dispose of oil responsibly – do not pour it down the drain as you will need to call a plumber shortly afterwards.

“Fry the chicken in portion of about 6 to 8 pieces for about 3 minutes per portion.”

 

Cooking the Rice:

1. Bring salted water to the boil in saucepan.
2. Add 2 bags of rice and bring to the boil again.
3. Reduce rice to a simmer and cook as per instructions, Usually 15 – 25 mins depending on whether using long grain or wholegrain.
4. Once rice is cooked, strain excess water and remove rice.
5. In dry saucepan, add 1tbsp sesame oil and pre cooked egg. Bring to a low heat.
6. Add rice into saucepan and stir together.
7. Place on back ring on very low heat to keep until ready. No longer than 5mins.

 

The Stir Fry:

“Prepare ALL vegetable, spices and herbs early to make things a lot easier.”

1. In the wok used for the sauce, pour 3 tbsp sesame oil.
2. Slice garlic, chili and cut bell peppers and onion.
3. Heat the wok to medium-high and add garlic.
4. Once fragrant, add onions. Stir fry for 1 or 2 minutes. Onions should keep shape though.
5. Add peppers and chili and stir fry for 1 or 2 mins. All veg should keep shape and bite.
6. Season to taste.
7. Add fried chicken and toss vigorously.
8. Add a handful of coarsly chopped coriander and pre-roasted sesame seeds and stir through.

 

“It’s up to you whether or not you want to serve the stir fry dry or with the sauce reheated over it.”

 

To Serve:

1. NOTE: the sauce can be reheated separately and served on the side or poured back over the stir fry to bring to heat. It’s up to you.
2. In a serving bowl, scoop egg fried rice and a large ladle of the stir fried chicken and sauce.

 

-J. O’Brien 20/03/2017